What grandpa said to me was no joke. I can tell from many views and news in the past that there are many successors who are faster and intelligent than I am. They came in many aspects: health, lifestyle, technology... hell, even the guys and gals from India, among many poor and non-intelligent people, several, even many (not too many), are successors.
Grandpa said that I have no purpose of life. That's what he told me last night after a driving lesson that ended up almost to a death of me and others out there. I can't be greedy with knowledge I have, though. I got skills: 3D modeling, scripting in Pascal, Python, Java, C++; these were gotten after 2 and a half years spent in the college. Dad said upgrading computer is useless unless there is purpose to do.
So far I needed upgrading to chase after the new games I want to play instead of being lagged on a laptop that has DirectX 11 technology and maybe ended up with fried VGA card if continued. I don't want that to happen if the laptop is a "weapon" to be used in the college to grab lessons. I stick to the conventional and light game ones.
Obtaining purpose of life is quite hard to me, but easy for those who make up their mind. Inspiring people are out there, and I'm between one of them if I can push hard my skills to a greater one instead of sticking up in front of the computer waiting mod requests and do "beta testing" on the personally created mods. It's time for me to obtain a new purpose of life.
I tried to fight with stupidity, but it still conquers my life. Somehow gaming is a way to solve things, but it's a waste of time. Clock is ticking. Tasks are too many. Even my family is almost broken, but I thrived. I surrounded with my brother who can't control himself on interactions with people in Bandung, my sister who got out of hospital and had no money ever since she's hospitalized, my father who is curious enough, but strict in rules, noble, and caring, my mother who is also curious, phobia of ghosts and robbers, but is kind-hearted, happy, and sadly, disliked something (I can't tell you that), my grandpa who is like a motivator, but he's religious, and my grandma who is "slowed" in walking, only speaks Balinese, and maybe not for long she will eventually die.
My brother is a different man than I am. He played outside while I'm inside, helping family matters. Wrong interaction made him got a different mindset. He's more ignorant to my family than I am. I wished that he stayed in Bali and get a girl in a same religion, instead of getting a "bitch" in a different religion. He should have schooled in Bali instead of staying in Bandung, meeting people who has unclear thoughts of what they are trying to do. No place better than home, I said.
People will die. Everyone will. If we can't make a change, what the world will be? A trash? Lots of consumerists? It will be another type of apocalypse that is other than natural causes (earthquake, tsunami, volcano eruption, earth crust displacement theory), World War III (that will eventually led to a Nuclear War), or maybe like the ones on sci-fi movies (Resident Evil, Terminator, etc.). People destroys nature if I don't make a small change. They still doing it. Everyone does, not only me.
The first thing comes into mind is books. Balinese people live with books, like the ones in Japan. They learn from books, they do the actions by the book. I have some books that made me passed through college lessons. IP address, networking rules, firewall, database, Zeos DB... all gained from the book. Google perfects it.
Skills I got is 3D modeling and scripting, but only standard in the college. PHP, Java, Pascal; it's from the college and learnt from IDE and source-editing programs. C++; only from IDE and used in Computer Graphics, not much more. ScriptHook uses C++, while ScriptHookdotNet uses C# (C-Sharp). I should start learning basics first so I can enhance and perfect it to the way I like.
3D modeling is still a basic: moving/resizing model, merging polygon, pyramidize model (to have hierarchy), and repositioning selected polygon/vertex. Making model is still a basic. The AAM-5, for example, is built scratch-made from ZModeler and perfected it in 3ds Max 7 to use as a new weapon in LOM format. This is purely built by me based from the reference images as none of the 3D models like that present, only images.
Language. Grandpa said I should master at least 3 languages. World needs people who can speak English. Native people also need another language. My English is near perfect. Indonesian is my native language. Russian, still a basic and completely understand most Cyrillic words. Japanese, not my style, though, but since I'm in with the anime shit, I should start learning too.
Turns out that I need books instead of lying around with no books and no knowledge. And I still have no idea about how can I develop a program using SSH (Secure Shell). Here's what I need:
Grandpa said that I have no purpose of life. That's what he told me last night after a driving lesson that ended up almost to a death of me and others out there. I can't be greedy with knowledge I have, though. I got skills: 3D modeling, scripting in Pascal, Python, Java, C++; these were gotten after 2 and a half years spent in the college. Dad said upgrading computer is useless unless there is purpose to do.
So far I needed upgrading to chase after the new games I want to play instead of being lagged on a laptop that has DirectX 11 technology and maybe ended up with fried VGA card if continued. I don't want that to happen if the laptop is a "weapon" to be used in the college to grab lessons. I stick to the conventional and light game ones.
Obtaining purpose of life is quite hard to me, but easy for those who make up their mind. Inspiring people are out there, and I'm between one of them if I can push hard my skills to a greater one instead of sticking up in front of the computer waiting mod requests and do "beta testing" on the personally created mods. It's time for me to obtain a new purpose of life.
I tried to fight with stupidity, but it still conquers my life. Somehow gaming is a way to solve things, but it's a waste of time. Clock is ticking. Tasks are too many. Even my family is almost broken, but I thrived. I surrounded with my brother who can't control himself on interactions with people in Bandung, my sister who got out of hospital and had no money ever since she's hospitalized, my father who is curious enough, but strict in rules, noble, and caring, my mother who is also curious, phobia of ghosts and robbers, but is kind-hearted, happy, and sadly, disliked something (I can't tell you that), my grandpa who is like a motivator, but he's religious, and my grandma who is "slowed" in walking, only speaks Balinese, and maybe not for long she will eventually die.
My brother is a different man than I am. He played outside while I'm inside, helping family matters. Wrong interaction made him got a different mindset. He's more ignorant to my family than I am. I wished that he stayed in Bali and get a girl in a same religion, instead of getting a "bitch" in a different religion. He should have schooled in Bali instead of staying in Bandung, meeting people who has unclear thoughts of what they are trying to do. No place better than home, I said.
People will die. Everyone will. If we can't make a change, what the world will be? A trash? Lots of consumerists? It will be another type of apocalypse that is other than natural causes (earthquake, tsunami, volcano eruption, earth crust displacement theory), World War III (that will eventually led to a Nuclear War), or maybe like the ones on sci-fi movies (Resident Evil, Terminator, etc.). People destroys nature if I don't make a small change. They still doing it. Everyone does, not only me.
The first thing comes into mind is books. Balinese people live with books, like the ones in Japan. They learn from books, they do the actions by the book. I have some books that made me passed through college lessons. IP address, networking rules, firewall, database, Zeos DB... all gained from the book. Google perfects it.
Skills I got is 3D modeling and scripting, but only standard in the college. PHP, Java, Pascal; it's from the college and learnt from IDE and source-editing programs. C++; only from IDE and used in Computer Graphics, not much more. ScriptHook uses C++, while ScriptHookdotNet uses C# (C-Sharp). I should start learning basics first so I can enhance and perfect it to the way I like.
3D modeling is still a basic: moving/resizing model, merging polygon, pyramidize model (to have hierarchy), and repositioning selected polygon/vertex. Making model is still a basic. The AAM-5, for example, is built scratch-made from ZModeler and perfected it in 3ds Max 7 to use as a new weapon in LOM format. This is purely built by me based from the reference images as none of the 3D models like that present, only images.
Language. Grandpa said I should master at least 3 languages. World needs people who can speak English. Native people also need another language. My English is near perfect. Indonesian is my native language. Russian, still a basic and completely understand most Cyrillic words. Japanese, not my style, though, but since I'm in with the anime shit, I should start learning too.
Turns out that I need books instead of lying around with no books and no knowledge. And I still have no idea about how can I develop a program using SSH (Secure Shell). Here's what I need:
- 3D modeling book
- C++ book
- C# book
- Pascal book
- Java book
- PHP book (talking about W3Schools is just a waste of quota)
- Web programming book (ditto as PHP ones)
- more that I need, just need some time...
At least with those I can do the world a favor. I can't just stay at home watching inspirational people do their jobs and be envious on what they do. It's painful. I've seen enough already.
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